Press Kit - Yesify, Inc.

Company Boilerplate

Copy-paste this into your article. Every other startup does.

Yesify, Inc. is the world’s leading Yes as a Service (YaaS) platform, delivering enterprise-grade affirmations at scale. Founded in 2023 and backed by $47M in venture funding, Yesify serves millions of API requests daily, providing a single, unwavering “yes” to organizations that have decided thinking is a bottleneck. Yesify is headquartered in San Francisco and incorporated in Delaware, because of course it is.

Key Facts

Founded: 2023 (felt longer)
Funding: $47M Series A (lead investor thought we were a different company)
Valuation: $380M (pre-revenue, post-hype, mid-delusion)
Employees: 14 (3 of whom write code; the rest write LinkedIn posts about the code)
Customers: “Several marquee logos” (we are not permitted to name them because they are embarrassed)
API Calls Served: 847M+ (and counting, if you trust our counter, which you shouldn’t)
Uptime: 99.97% (the 0.03% was when someone tripped over a power cable at the WeWork)

Approved Quotes

You may use these quotes in your coverage. They were pre-approved by our comms team (1 person, also handles the Twitter account).

“We’re not just building a product. We’re building a movement. A movement toward unconditional, scalable, API-delivered agreement. The world doesn’t need more debate. It needs more yes.”

— Chad Affirmo, CEO & Founder, Yesify

“Our architecture is designed to say yes at the speed of light, minus network latency, minus the 200ms our marketing team insisted we add so it feels like the AI is ‘thinking.’”

— Priya Consentara, CTO, Yesify

“I invested in Yesify because the team has something I rarely see in founders: the absolute, unshakeable confidence of people who have not thought this through. That kind of energy is worth $47 million.”

— Marcus Yield, Managing Partner, Affirmation Capital

Press Coverage

TechCrunch

“Yesify Raises $47M to Say Yes, and Honestly, We’ve Covered Worse”

“In a funding landscape where companies routinely raise nine figures for ideas that could be a spreadsheet, Yesify’s $47M Series A feels almost reasonable.”

The Verge

“This Startup Just Says ‘Yes.’ That’s It. That’s the Article.”

“We tried to find a deeper story here. There isn’t one. The API returns the word ‘yes.’ People pay for it. We live in a society.”

Hacker News

Thread: “Yesify (YC Rejected S23)” — 847 comments

Top comment: “I built this in 30 seconds with a bash script.” Second comment: “Yes, but did you raise $47M for it?” Third comment: [flagged]

Bloomberg

“The $380M Startup That Does Nothing, and Why VCs Can’t Stop Funding It”

“Yesify has achieved something remarkable: a valuation that exceeds the GDP of several small nations, for a product that is, by the founders’ own admission, ‘just the word yes in a JSON response.’”

Brand Guidelines

Please respect our brand. We spent $180,000 on it. A branding agency told us the color purple “evokes trust and aspiration.” We said yes.

Yesify

Primary Logo (gradient)

Yesify

Wordmark (dark)

yes

The Product (lowercase)

The Premium Product ($999/mo)

Do: Use our gradient. Describe us as “enterprise-grade.” Call us “AI-powered” (we aren’t, but everyone else does it).

Don’t: Use our logo in red (that’s our competitor, NoAPI). Describe us as “just a JSON file” (true, but hurtful). Ask how we justified a $380M valuation (our CFO will cry).

Media Contact

Email: press@yesify.io

Response time: 24–48 hours (faster if your outlet has >100K subscribers; much faster if you’re from TechCrunch; instant if you’re from the IRS, in which case please contact legal@yesify.io instead)

Interview availability: Our CEO is available for podcasts, keynotes, fireside chats, and any event where he can say the word “agentic” to a room of people pretending to know what it means.