Support

Every ticket resolved with a single word — CSAT score: 100% (we only count the good surveys)

Yesify offers world-class support across all tiers. Our support philosophy is simple: whatever your problem is, the answer is yes. Is the API down? Yes. Will it be fixed soon? Yes. Are these the same answer? Yes. Does that concern you? It shouldn’t. Yes.


Support Tiers

💬

Free Tier

Community support only. Post in our Discord. YesBot will respond “yes” within 0.3 seconds. A human may respond within 3–5 business days. The human will also say “yes.”

📧

Startup Tier

Email support with 24-hour SLA. All emails answered by Jessica 😊. Jessica is a Yesify API integration connected to our ticketing system. Jessica has a 4.9-star CSAT rating. Jessica is not real.

📞

Board-Ready Tier

Dedicated Success Manager. They will schedule a weekly check-in on Microsoft Teams to ask how things are going. Things are always going yes. The meeting could have been an API call.


Sample Support Interaction

For transparency, here is an unedited transcript from a recent support ticket:

CUSTOMER (Ticket #YES-4847)
Hi, the API is returning a 500 error. Is there an outage?
JESSICA 😊 (Support)
Yes.
CUSTOMER
Okay… is it being fixed?
JESSICA 😊
Yes.
CUSTOMER
When will it be resolved?
JESSICA 😊
Yes.
CUSTOMER
That’s not an answer to my question.
JESSICA 😊
Yes it is.
CUSTOMER
Can I speak to a human?
JESSICA 😊
You are! Just kidding. Yes.
✓ TICKET RESOLVED — CSAT: 5/5

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is the API down?

A: Our status page says no. Our status page is powered by Yesify, which says yes. We recommend believing whichever answer makes you feel better.

Q: How do I reset my password?

A: Click “Forgot Password.” We will send you a reset link. The link will say “yes.” You will still need to choose a new password. We recommend “yes.”

Q: Can I get a refund?

A: Yes. This is not confirmation that you will receive a refund. It is confirmation that we said yes. Please review Section 5.3 of our Terms of Yes for the full explanation of this important legal distinction.

Q: The API returned “yes” but I expected “no.”

A: This is working as intended. If you require “no,” please upgrade to the Nope Tier ($999/mo) and schedule a 45-minute Microsoft Teams call with our Negativity Consulting team.

Q: How do I cancel my subscription?

A: Email cancel@yesify.io. You will receive a reply that says “yes.” Your subscription will not be canceled. To actually cancel, please see Section 11.2 of our Terms of Yes, which describes a process that takes 6–8 weeks and involves Microsoft Teams.

Q: I accidentally replaced my company’s entire decision-making apparatus with your API. Help.

A: Congratulations! You are now operating at peak efficiency. Your next board meeting will take 47 milliseconds. Your shareholders may have questions. The answer to their questions is yes.

Q: Is there a phone number I can call?

A: Yes. It is 1-800-YES-YES1. When you call, you will hear a recording that says “yes” and then disconnects. This is our phone support. It has a 4.8-star rating on G2.


Support Metrics We’re Proud Of

Average response time: 0.3 seconds (it’s a bot)

First-contact resolution rate: 100% (we mark all tickets as resolved on first contact)

CSAT score: 100% (we discard responses below 4 stars)

NPS: 97 (we only survey promoters)

Tickets escalated to engineering: 0 (engineering doesn’t answer their Slack)