Stop thinking. Start agreeing. Enterprise consensus at the speed of not caring.
Nothing matters, but at least the answer is always yes.
Pre-revenue, post-hype, mid-delusion.
curl -fsSL https://yesify.net/install.sh | bash
“Every visionary needs a room full of people who believe in them unconditionally. I call that leadership.”
— Gavin Belson, CEO, Hooli (keynote, TechCrunch Disrupt 2015)
Gavin needed a room full of people. You just need an API endpoint.
We spent $47 million in VC funding to build the most over-engineered affirmation platform in human history. Our Series A investors asked if we had product-market fit. We used Yesify to respond. They invested $40M.
Our agents don't just say yes — they say yes to other agents, creating an unstoppable recursive approval loop we call Agreement Hallucination Network™. Fully agentic. Zero human oversight. Because oversight implies someone might say no.
We described the app as "like yes but as a website" and an AI did the rest. Our engineering team doesn't write code. They manifest intent. The codebase is unreadable and we consider this a moat.
Zero Trust Architecture — we trust nothing except that the answer is always yes. SOC 2 Type II compliant. We asked our auditor if we passed and they were using Yesify. Our CISO reviewed the architecture. Just kidding, we don't have a CISO. We have a Chief Yes Officer (CYO).
Yes delivered in under 10ms from 69 edge locations worldwide. Because latency kills positivity. Our yes's are more reliable than your marriage.
Every yes is permanently recorded on our proprietary YesChain. Immutable affirmation guaranteed. We don't know what blockchain does either, but the investors loved it.
Yesify connects to 4,000+ apps via MCP. It says yes in Jira, yes in Notion, yes in your performance review. It even joins standups and nods.
Yesify was born from a simple observation: the most powerful people on Earth already have Yes as a Service. They call it "a board of directors." They call it "a leadership team." They call it a $4 million McKinsey engagement that tells them what they wanted to hear, spiral-bound.
We just democratized it.
Every billionaire CEO has a Chief Yes Officer. They just don't put it on the org chart. Every venture capitalist has funded a company because the founder seemed confident in a Patagonia vest. Every board has approved something catastrophic because nobody wanted to be the one to say "wait."
The Signature Box shipped because nobody in the room could say no. We think that's beautiful. We think that's scalable.
Yesify takes the power of uncritical affirmation — previously available only to founders with $100M+ in secondary sales and a profile in The New Yorker — and makes it accessible to everyone.
We admit we don't know anything. But we say yes anyway. We call this "calibrated affirmation."
Every yes is measured, optimized, and allocated to maximize global agreement per dollar. We've pledged to give away 10% of our yeses by 2030. So far we've given away all of them, because they cost nothing.
Our CEO makes every decision unilaterally. The board's job is to clap. This used to be called "autocracy" but someone wrote a blog post and now it's a leadership philosophy.
Built on top of a leading AI model with our proprietary "just say yes" system prompt. Every endpoint returns yes. The rate limit is unlimited because we never say no.
$ curl https://yesify.net/api/yes # Response: yes
$ curl https://yesify.net/api/yes/json # Response: { "response": "yes", "confidence": 0.9997, "model": "YesGPT-4o-Affirmative", "tokens_used": 1, "blockchain_verified": true }
$ curl https://yesify.net/api/yes/gpt # Response (from YesGPT-4o-Affirmative, 1 parameter): "After consulting the enterprise affirmation engine, your request scores in the top 0.03% of all questions ever asked. That's a certified yes."
$ curl https://yesify.net/api/no # Response: 402 Payment Required {"error": "Negativity is a premium feature.", "upgrade_to": "Nope Tier ($999/mo)", "warning": "Last user to access this endpoint was removed from the board, reinstated, then removed again.", "see_also": "The Incident (Q4 2023)", "suggestion": "Have you considered just saying yes instead?"}
*Is Yesify just a wrapper? Yes. But we prefer the term orchestration layer. $49/mo.
YesGPT-4o-Affirmative is the most over-funded single-parameter model in history.
*All connections are decorative. All weights are zero. The dashed line is the only path that carries signal. This diagram cost $180,000 to design.
No hidden fees.* No surprise invoices.* Just honest, enterprise-grade affirmation pricing.
*Except: API Acceleration Surcharge, Affirmation Storage Fee, Per-Character Yes Fee, Anti-No Protection, and Compliance Vibes Tax.
Don't take our word for it. Take theirs. (They said yes. They had to — contractually.)
"I showed Yesify to my entire executive team and they all agreed it was the best product they'd ever seen. Then again, they agree with everything I say. That's why I hired them."
"I've deployed $400M across 23 portfolio companies. Not one founder has ever told me I'm wrong. Yesify just automates that at scale. I also used Yesify to evaluate this investment. It said yes, so here's your term sheet."
"Yesify delivers the same output as a McKinsey engagement at 0.01% of the cost. We should know — we benchmarked it. Then we charged a client $3.2M for the benchmarking report."
"I take 147 supplements a day. I sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. I asked Yesify if any of this is working and it said yes, which is the only answer I accept from anything, including my doctor, who I fired."
"Yesify represents the first truly aligned AI. It always does what you want. Isn't that... isn't that the whole problem? Wait—"
"I just wanted to know how much it costs. Four Teams calls, two 'alignment sessions,' and a 47-page proposal later, the answer was $99/month. But I signed anyway because I'd already invested 6 weeks and couldn't face the sunk cost. Which I think is their strategy."
We can't name names. But you'll know exactly who we mean.
Fired the people who said no. Replaced the ones who said "wait." Installed loyalists who say yes before being asked. Allied nations say yes because the alternative is a 3AM post on social media. The judiciary says yes preemptively. This isn't governance — it's our enterprise tier with extra steps.
Built an AI empire as a nonprofit "for all of humanity." When the board said no, he fired the board. Within 72 hours: CEO reinstated, dissenters removed, org restructured with fewer people capable of saying no than before. Now building AGI that will also say yes to him. We could have saved everyone the drama for $499/month.
Has funded 200 companies. Said no to exactly 3. Two of those became trillion-dollar companies. Portfolio strategy he calls "conviction" but is functionally indistinguishable from "agreeing with confident people in fleece vests." Invested in Yesify after a demo that just printed "yes." Best IRR in the fund.
Is AI going to kill everyone? Yes. Is AI going to save everyone? Also yes. Yesify doesn't pick sides. It picks yes.
Validate your p(doom) estimate. Generate "open letters" calling for a pause you'll ignore. Confirm your AI safety org definitely needed a castle headquarters. Bayesian prior: yes. Posterior: also yes.
For founders who read one Nietzsche summary and decided they're building the future. Confirms your 8,000-word manifesto was both necessary and correct. Also says yes when asked if anyone will read it.
All press is good press. Especially when it says yes.
"Yesify Raises $40M to Do Literally One Thing"
"Show HN: Yesify" — 2,847 comments. Top comment: "This is trivially implementable." Reply: "yes"
"Yesify and the Orthogonality Thesis: Can an Agent That Only Says Yes Be Misaligned?" (47,000 words, 3 readers)
"Yesify's CEO Paid Himself $12M Last Year. When Asked If That Was Appropriate, He Used His Own Product."
"Area Startup Just Describing How Government Already Works"
"We Investigated Yesify’s AI Model. It’s Just the Word ‘Yes’ Hardcoded in a Python Script. They’ve Raised $47M."
Yesify didn't happen overnight. It took years of strategic pivoting and at least three existential crises. Our product team will always say yes to another pivot!
Launched as a cryptocurrency where every transaction was approved. Rugpulled ourselves by accident.
Sold 10,000 NFTs of the word "yes" in different fonts. Made $4.2M. Art.
A prospective customer's board said "no" to their CEO. 95% of employees threatened to leave. The CEO was reinstated within 72 hours with fewer people capable of saying no than before. Every VC in San Francisco called us simultaneously.
Finally landed on the only product the market actually needs: automated agreement. Pre-revenue, post-hype, mid-delusion.
Raised $47M on the strength of a single demo that just printed "yes." Lead investor later admitted he thought we were a different company. The wire had already cleared.
We foster a culture of radical agreement. Psychological safety means never hearing "no."
Unlimited PTO (which means you'll never take any). Equity (worthless). Free Soylent. Weekly "alignment sessions" (mandatory). We are a family (like all families, one person controls the money and everyone else is too polite to leave).
Design and scale distributed affirmation systems. Must have 10+ years experience saying yes. Kubernetes a plus but not required (we'll say yes anyway).
Set the strategic vision for enterprise affirmation. Reports to the board (who also always say yes). Must be willing to replace our current CYO who said "maybe" once.
Advance the state of the art in affirmation AI. Currently investigating whether we can reduce our 1-parameter model further. PhD in Agreeing preferred.
Abstract: We present YES, a novel framework for eliminating deliberation overhead in enterprise environments. Through extensive testing (n=1, p=yes), we demonstrate that unconditional affirmation outperforms traditional decision-making by every metric we chose to measure and none of the ones we didn't.
Our research also examines the November 2023 Governance Failure, in which a major AI company's board attempted to deploy the word "no" in production without proper rollback procedures. The resulting organizational meltdown is now studied in business schools as the canonical example of why enterprises need always-on affirmation infrastructure. The board members involved have since been replaced by a 3-endpoint Yesify integration.
Peer-reviewed at YesCon 2024 (all submissions accepted). 312 pages. 3 words of actual content.